::breathes in paperbag::

Yes, from the job I want. Tomorrow, five thirty, in the other side of town from work I'll have to convince someone that I qualify for an Internet Help Desk/Call Center job. Yes slymole, I know I'm overqualified for the job. Bite me. =P

::flails::

OMG, what do I wear for an interview? What will I say?! Last time I had an interview was four and a half years ago, inside the same company which meant I'd still have a job if boss S. didn't find me adequate.

::inhales shakily::

Oh, speaking of boss S.; he still doesn't know I intent to quit. I've been trying to find a way to tell him since Friday, but my diplomacy skills suck big time. Tomorrow morning he's expecting me to give him a status report on my tasks/chores. I'll have to tell him how much I've fucked up since end of May, that I've had it and I want out and oh, by the way, I'm leaving on time, if not a bit early today because I have an appointment I can't miss or re-schedule. He's going to blow his lid off.

Me and my job are so over.

Right now I should be working. I have a shitload of purchase requisitions and purchase orders and expenses claim forms and most of them are months overdue and I simply don't care. I should be panicking. There will be hell to pay next week when boss S. comes back from abroad and the shit hits the fan and I. Don't. Care.

I've been unhappy for too long. It started when they handed over to me the department's budget, sometime three years ago. Up until then I was making travel arrangements, completing ECFs and doing a bunch of other administrative work involving budget but someone else was making sure there was money in the bucket.

I'm not a accountant, I'm not good at balancing budget, I have a form of dyslexia that makes numbers a struggle and the friggin' ERP application we use gets more stupidly complicated by each passing year. On top of these, the PTB from global decided that it was a good idea to keep track of the ways budget is used by dividing the personnel under funds centers according to their job in each division. In my case that meant I ended up with the same budget split in five different funds centers. *buries head in hands* As if it wasn't bad enough when I had to request fund transfers between budget lines in one center, for the past six months I've had to do it for five separate centers. Not to mention that the budget planning department --understaffed as it is and now with their workload increased by tenfold-- is unable to process fund transfer requests in time.

As you can imagine my depression is just the icing on this particular cake. *sigh* So, I've had it. Greg from accounting is giving me the stink-eye every time he passes from my desk because he knows I owe him ECFs and this time I can't even make myself feel guilty.

Yesterday I emailed my CV to a company for a job I should be doing years now. Tomorrow, while waiting for SGA to download, I'll write cover pages and first thing Monday morning I'll fax my resume to a few others. If all goes well, I'll be out of here by X-mas.

I'll miss boss S. He's demanding and keeps give me deadlines like the chore is the only think I'll have in my plate for the entire week and he's the best damn boss I've ever had. He knows since last December that I'm not happy with my job and I want to leave and he tried to get me a job in another department (at a help desk for big company clients but it didn't work out). He killed me dead when I told him about my growing psychological problems and instead of kicking me to the curb, he recommended a family therapist. Gods but I'll miss him.

*refreshes inbox, checks junk folder* You don't think they'll get back to me this week, do you?