queenofstars: (j/d: you make me smile)
Yes, contrary to common belief, I'm still alive. *checks pulse* Well, maybe... Mini rant: Work... )
A lot has happened in the past two months, many changes that don't fit in a post. And to be honest, even if they did, I don't think I could stay awake long enough to write it. *yawn* Let's see how many I can get down before I shut down...

Last Friday, my best friend ALN had his first child, a baby boy. )

My first laptop, Daniel, is almost 1 month old. )

MSN me babe... )

My ex, Bill... )

Last but not least... GIP! [livejournal.com profile] nevskaya dared the icon meme and I found the perfect opportunity to corner her for an exclusive "made by nev". Ain't it the prettiest? *huggles icon and [livejournal.com profile] nevskaya* I'm considering revamping my journal to earth tones just for its sake.

It's mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Touch it and I'll try one of Jack's black-ops tricks on you. Or two. muaaaahahaha

And that says I've reached my limit for tonight... G'night world!
queenofstars: (jack: absolutely NOT gay! ...right.)
My ex slays me. Upon seeing a picture of Nem: "I'm sorry my chin looks like a vagina."
queenofstars: (you are all i have left)
...was a false alarm.
Before you start throwing all kinds of stuff at me, let me tell you that we did have a huge fight. Really loud yelling, a bit of cursing, accusations flying back and forth, the works. I was so reeled up I even slammed the phone closed. And he hates that. He really, really hates that. I didn't do it to get at him. It was either keep talking and break up (which I thought we did at the time) or end the fight at least until I stop seeing red. Apparently he hang up on me at the same time so my doing it didn't quite register. ::shrug::
So, we went out yesterday and had one of the longest talks in our history together. It was a nice change from the distance he has put between us this past month. ::sigh:: He is very stressed over his new job, being the new kid on the block and all, and he accused me of not being supportive enough when he speaks of how tired he is or his daily mistakes or whatnot. I guess I'm not good at petting egos anymore ::makes face::
I have to cut this short 'cause I have to get home sometime today (still at work ::blah::). Point is we seem to be better than a week ago. I'll just have to take it one step at the time and see what happens. Let's hope I won't have to beat the shit out of him for making me look like an ass for the second time in a year.
queenofstars: (qqj)
I was going to post about the weeding but breaking up with Bill for the second time took away all my energy for anything productive and creative... ::sigh::
Yes, I let myself be fooled once again. Go me.
You are free to kick me while I'm down but you'de better hurry, I won't be for long.
Antonis and Katerina are taking me out for coffee this afternoon to cheer me up. Let's hear it for good friends who are next to you when you need them.
queenofstars: (me)
it's about a negative jack-ass who gets to be god for a while, just to see how tough it is and cut for spoilers )

i'm taking bill to see it tonight.
if he won't catch my drift the first time, i'm taking him to see it again.
and again. and again.
until he gets it.
even if it means i'll have to buy him the dvd too.

queenofstars: mckay: don't let the stars get in your eyes (Force help me...)
it's supposed to be my vacation. ::whimper::
since i got here last friday instead of sunbathing, taking long swims, trolling my way through every club and pub available and generally having the time of my life at the really beautiful kalamata, i'm feeling miserable, net-deprived and for the life of me can't stop thinking about work, chores i left behind and billy who's royally pissed at me me for not having made up my mind yet if there will be an "us" or not. ::growl::
a week ago i was so looking forward to this vacation, hoping to relax after what's been a trying year for me both in working and personal level. and here i am, bitching about my. ex. all. over. again! why force do you punish me like that, why?
oh, hell. i can't wait to get back to athens to bury myself in my 'puter. only thing that keeps me sane right now is my trusted handheld which now holds 5 more pages of x-men slash i wrote.
yay me.
i was really hoping to talk to someone really close to me about recent events, you know, vent, scream, bitch, cry, but he's away abroad and won't be back 'till the end of the week. ::sigh::
if i manage to get online once more before friday, when i'm supposedly getting back to athens, i'll get a little more specific about what's happening, if not, tune in next week for the full version.
off to read some scott/logan smut to clear my head.
queenofstars: (nothing lasts for ever)
...i was actually hoping you would never come back.
so i would never have to do this.
i'm sorry.
i can't.
hurts too much.
don't want to hurt like that ever again.
don't want to hurt you like that either.
i'm back to my old cynical self.
no commitment.
no attachment.
i'm not dreaming of happily ever afters anymore.
can't hold you back; you deserve beter than that.
and the fact i still have feelings for you doesn't help at all...
queenofstars: (nothing lasts for ever)
this ) is on my mp3 player. at work. on repeat. since i came in. will stay until numerous objects start hurtling my way.

note to self: visit a liquor store after work, there's not a drop left back home after last night.
queenofstars: (nothing lasts for ever)
what hurts most is that i believed him. i believed that he loved me. i wanted to believe.

when we started, he asked me to take a change with him. i told him that he was asking me to risk my heart. he said go for it.

and i did, stupid me.

i wanted to believe.
i needed to believe.
now i know.
he never loved me.

stupid me...
queenofstars: mckay: don't let the stars get in your eyes (Default)
...there's no need to, he is not going to read them, ever. how do i know? it's simple dear.




he never did...


queenofstars: mckay: don't let the stars get in your eyes (Default)

April 2013



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